So I come into work today and check CNN.com looking for a surge of happiness and well-being to boost my day, only to find the first six headlines on the page:
• London police identify first blast victim | Watch
• Remains identified as Idaho boy | Watch
• Gunman, baby die in police shootout
• Tragedy strikes two air shows | Watch
• 1 dead, 3 missing after trains collide
• Body of missing SEAL recovered | Watch
Are you kidding me? The first six headlines all have at least one dead person in them? CNN.com, why do you gotta be such a downer? Why is that news? None of those things strike me as interesting articles to read, except for the air show article, and that was the only headline that didn’t explicitly state that someone died (although I strongly suspect someone did). This is the world today, where they survive on bringing us the news that no one wants to read. For some reason, these headlines sell, and keeps us going to CNN.com. Why can’t we get headlines like “Doctor in Topeka, Kansas cures cancer”, or “World peace reached without anyone dying”. Not that these are headlines that would be likely to occur between now and the next ten minutes, but they’d be a little better than death.
I checked the other sections of the website, just to be sure. Sure enough, each section had horrible news. The world section had more about the terrorists in London, the politics section had “Bush: Terrorists ‘cannot shake our will’”, the science section had “Study: Brush fires caused Australian extinctions”, the technology section had “Bombing horror captured on cell phones”, and possibly the worst headline of all, the entertainment section had “Pauly Shore ready for a comeback”. What is the world coming to? NOOOO!!!