Random Drivel » Humor

Snakes on a Plane (no, seriously)

Eric — Wed, 07 Jun 2006 06:25:35 +0000

I’m not kidding.

Pilot Finds Snake Stowaway Inside Cockpit

Monty Coles was 3,000 feet in the air when he discovered a stowaway peeking out at him from the plane’s instrument panel: a 4 1/2-foot snake.

Coles was taking a leisurely flight over the West Virginia countryside in his Piper Cherokee last weekend and was preparing to land in Ohio when the snake revealed itself.

“Nothing in any of the manuals ever described anything like this,” said the 62-year-old Cross Lanes resident.

But advice given 25 years earlier from his flight instructor sprung to mind: “No matter what happens, fly the plane.”

Coles attempted to swat the snake but it fell to the pilot’s feet, then darted to the other side of the cockpit.

While maintaining control of the single-engine plane with one hand, Coles grabbed the reptile behind its head with his other.

“There was no way I was letting that thing go,” he said. “It coiled all around my arm, and its tail grabbed hold of a lever on the floor and started pulling.”

The next step was to radio for emergency landing clearance.

“They came back and asked what my problem was,” he said. “I told them I had one hand full of snake and the other hand full of plane. They cleared me in.”

After a smooth landing, Coles posed for pictures with the snake, then let it loose.

“That snake resides in Ohio now,” he said.

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2006/06/03/ap/strange/mainD8I0MHUG0.shtml

A Snake. On a MotherF**king plane. Samuel L. Jackson is going to be a millionaire.

Best Super Bowl Commercials

Eric — Wed, 08 Feb 2006 06:39:22 +0000

These are my favorite Super Bowl Commercials from this year, in no particular order.

The Leonard Nemoy commercial, while not intended to be funny (and mostly aimed at old people) struck me as an insightful commercial, and therefore is deserving of a spot on my list.

This is the one that nearly everyone (or at least college students) were talking about the next day. The mere thought of a magic beer-giving refrigerator is funny enough, but Bud Light brought it to life.

Bending the rules to the extreme, Budweiser brings a twist to the wardrobe malfunction of two years ago. Watch as clydesdales play a game of football before getting interrupted by an uninvited guest.

This commercial was not funny for the first 40 seconds. The final 5 seconds made up for it, launching it to a winner in my book.

I don’t advocate hitting women. But this was hysterical.

My vote for the funniest and best commercial of the entire Super Bowl. I don’t have a Sprint phone, but I sure as hell wish my phone had crime deterrent.

Career Fair

Eric — Wed, 25 Jan 2006 20:33:38 +0000

Today was the career fair. If you don’t know what a career fair is, basically 80 companies come and set up booths in the SRC and give away free stuff while students dress up in their sunday best and try to land the job of their dreams. Most kids print out a dozen resumes, scour the list of companies attending, and try to woo the representatives into setting up an interview with them. They give you company propaganda materials, such as CDs or brouchures, and some even have pens, candy, foam footballs, staplers, or keychains. The coolest thing I have ever gotten from a career fair was a laser pointer with interchangable heads.

This year I tried for something a little different. I set up a booth of my own, and companies came to ask me for an interview. It was just like that “Lending Tree” commercial where the homeowner interviews the banks. I had free gifts. I made businesscard-sized resumes, and handed them out to the companies that came by. My gift was a magnifying glass so that they could read it. Many laughed at the obvious parallels between my booth and the career fair in general. Some companies didn’t have a high enough SPA (Salary Point Average, much like a GPA, but for businesses. a 4.0 SPA is a company that is willing to give me $100,000 a year plus stock options. Any company below $50,000 a year is making too many D’s, and is placed on probation.)

I had to turn a few companies away. Even though they had everything that I was looking for, and they made a really good impression on me, I just had to hurt their feelings by not offering them a second interview. Its not that they aren’t a great company, because they are going to be a good fit with some other employee some day, but they just weren’t a match for me and my needs. I wish them luck as they continue to search for that employee that wants to work for them. Poor souls.

In the end, I had to narrow it down to a few exceptional companies. We’ll see how they do in their interviews, and if they get the honor of me allowing myself to work for them.

Lazy Sunday

Eric — Sat, 07 Jan 2006 00:11:27 +0000

And this, ladies and gentlemen, is why I have a video recorder on my computer. Ripped in all its glory.

This clip aired on Saturday Night Live’s Jack Black hosted episode. Is SNL back to what it used to be? We’ll see. Its been a good season so far. And I’ll keep recording these episodes for the gems like this one.

It’s the Chronic – what? Cles of Narnia! Mr. Pibb and Red Vines equals Crazy Delicious.

Homecoming Weekend

Eric — Sun, 02 Oct 2005 20:23:22 +0000

This weekend was Homecoming, and as usual came with the typical Homecoming festivities. Friday was this year’s bonfire, which was sadly more disappointing than I had hoped for. We stayed, however, for a few hours to watch it burn. The firefighters collapsed it once it started to get unstable, which was met with great cheers from the crowd because of the hilarity of pulling a timber from the base of a 28 foot tall bonfire, much like a Jenga game.

Saturday was the game against Trinity, which we lost. But we had a good time, as always, watching our team play.

Saturday night was the Second City troupe, appearing again at Rose-Hulman since last December. Different cast this time, but still funny sketches. We’ll see how the Rose Thorn portrays them this year, since I was very entertained.

This will be my last homecoming as a student, and next year I actually will be “coming home” to go to the bonfire. Just one more milestone passed on my journey to graduate at the end of this year!

Not Special Ops Cody!

Eric — Fri, 04 Feb 2005 16:08:24 +0000

Oh no! Another Iraqi group has taken a hostage and has threatened to behead him. This is horrible… Special Ops Cody, why??? Why did it have to be you? CNN has an article about this horrible tradgedy. If we don’t release Iraqi prisoners, they will be forced to execute our friend, Special Ops Cody. Read more about the untimely capture of one of our nation’s bravest.

http://www.cnn.com/2005/WORLD/meast/02/01/iraq.hostage/

I can’t honestly believe that anyone would fall for that. It would have been smarter for them to have maybe used grainier footage when they posted it on their website instead of crisp clean digital pictures of a GI Joe. In response to this, Comedy Central’s The Daily Show has done a special report about our fallen comrade. I hope the link works, if it doesn’t I’ll try and host it somewhere for ya. Let me know if itstops working. For the video clip: GI D’oh

You Touch His Tralala

Eric — Thu, 20 Jan 2005 15:23:35 +0000

And you thought the Numa Numa video was freaky. Now you got some guy named Gunther singing about his Ding Ding Dong. The video borders on pr0n, so its NSFW (not safe for work). Basically, its this guy singing about his crazy deranged European concept of love, I guess…

http://www.koreus.com/files/200405/guntherdingdongsong.html

Don’t say I didn’t warn you. You never know what’ll happen when you touch his tralala.

Numa Numa remix

Eric — Sun, 16 Jan 2005 20:25:53 +0000

By popular demand, the Numa Numa lyrics can be found below. The actual song is called Dragostea Din Tei, by O-Zone (I guess, I dunno. Its Romanian or something.) Also, there is now a remix of the video, with subtitles, and also the pictures have been removed. You can also still watch the original version.

http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/206373

Read on for the lyrics.

These are the English Lyrics, followed by the lyrics in their original Romanian.

Ma-ia-hii
Ma-ia-huu
Ma-ia-hoo
Ma-ia-haha

Hello, greetings, it’s me, an outlaw,
I ask you, my love, to accept happiness.
Hello, hello, it’s me, Picasso,
I sent you a beep, and I’m brave,
But you should know that I’m not asking for anything from you.

You want to leave but you don’t want don’t want to take me, don’t want don’t want to take me, don’t want don’t want don’t want to take me.
Your face and the love from the linden trees, And I remember your eyes.

I call you, to tell you what I feel right now, Hello, my love, it’s me, your happiness.
Hello, hello, it’s me again, Picasso,
I sent you a beep, and I’m brave,
But you should know that I’m not asking for anything from you.

These are the lyrics in their original Romanian.

Mi-a-hii
Mi-a-huu
Mi-a-haa
Mi-a-ha ha

Allo, salut, sint yel, un hydook,
she teraw, youbeera mah, primesh der, vericheera,
Allo, Allo, sint yel, Picasso, Tiam dat beep,
she sen voynic, un dar sege ti notes cher nimeek

vrais a pleche dar numa numa i-ay
numa numa i-ay numa numa numa i-ay
kipul tow she dragosta din tay, ma mintesc day oki ti-ay

Desoon, set spoon, cheseet, ah kum
Allo, youbeera mah, sint yel, vericheera
Allo, Allo, sint yarshio, Picasso,
Tiam dat beep, she sen voynic, un dar sege ti notes cher nimeek

vrais a pleche dar numa numa i-ay
numa numa i-ay numa numa numa iay
kipul tow she dragosta din tay, ma mintesc day oki ti-ay

vrais a pleche dar numa numa i-ay
numa numa i-ay numa numa numa i-ay
kipul tow she dragosta din tay, ma mintesc day oki ti-ay

Mi-a-hii
Mi-a-huu
Mi-a-haa
Mi-a-ha ha

vrais a pleche dar numa numa i-ay
numa numa i-ay numa numa numa i-ay
kipul tow she dragosta din tay, ma mintesc day oki ti-ay

Jay-Zeezer, the Black & Blue Album

Eric — Sun, 16 Jan 2005 00:20:52 +0000

I was skeptical about this at first, but I downloaded all the songs, and this is actually pretty damn good. I really enjoyed the DJ Dangermouse remix of the White Album, and the Linkin Park remixes are not half bad (although not as entertaining as the Grey Album was) but this is just hilarious. The Grey Album is just good music… this is just FUNNY music. I mean, wow. It actually sounds pretty damn good… give it a shot. They’re all free.

http://www.jay-zeezer.com/

The video, “99 Problems with Buddy Holly”, is hilarious… wow. The site is a great read, too.

Ashlee Simpson Booed at Orange Bowl

Eric — Wed, 05 Jan 2005 05:19:34 +0000

Ashlee Simpson was the closing act at the Orange Bowl tonight, and for her efforts, she was booed off the stage. Thats right, she was booed. Here’s the clip:

http://www.monhaut.com/media/simpson.avi

If you liked the Ashlee Simpson video, and you came to see my site, please consider donating some money to help pay for the server costs. That video got passed around the internet like the pigskin from the USC quarterback tonight. The link to my paypal is on the main page, http://www.monhaut.com. Or at least sign up for http://www.FreeFlatScreens.com/default.aspx?referer=7939967, using my link. It wont cost you much, or maybe nothing at all… I dunno.